Today, my life is very full.
Full of long-term commitments, short-term commitments and projects, all of which have a place in my schedule. They all command a certain amount of time from me and I must be careful to regulate each one to keep balance.
My long-term commitments consistent of my family, my church/faith, the keeping of our home and our public school community and home education.
My primary long-term priorities is what will take up most of my time, bring me the most benefit and give the most back.
My short-term commitments consist of things that will end in the next 9-12 months, for example, my MOPS position.
Short-term commitments are things I want to be a part of but perhaps not lead. At this stage of life, I prefer to ‘serve’ rather than ‘lead’ even though my DNA wants to be in charge of everything.
Projects are usually very short-term and have a well-defined beginning and end, i.e. my garden and feeding the football team on Thursdays.
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I’ve heard the analogy of a large mouth jar that presents all the time you have in your life. Then you are given a few big rocks, several smaller rocks and a couple handsful of gravel.
The big rocks are the things that mean the most to you and take up most of your time (long term commitments). Notice that your jar will only hold a few.
Medium-sized rocks will fit here and there in the jar (short-term goals), you may have to wiggle the big rocks around to make them fit, yet not break the jar.
The gravel are the little things (projects) that you can sprinkle in all around, however, there is still a finite area to fill.
You can’t fill the jar to the point of breaking and you can’t allow rocks to spill out.
Now, you are permitted to introduce new rocks during your life, but remember, only a certain amount will fit. Some rocks may need to be removed before others can be put in.
*****
What are YOUR big rocks?
What are YOUR little rocks?
What is YOUR gravel?
Do you have too many rocks?
Let’s talk…
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I have way too many rocks. Big, Medium, Little. It doesn’t matter the size, my jar is overflowing right now. HELP!!
Hey Chris,
Why don’t you come over for coffee this week? We’ll talk…
I love this post! I think we have to be constantly looking at those committments and evaluating what can shift and move, but sometimes some of the biggest rocks are so hard to remove
Hi Raquel!
I totally agree about the ‘big rocks’ and I’m going to be discussing that this week to tune in!
It’s a process, that’s for sure! Thanks for commenting!
I always enjoy your posts…
I love the jar analogy, I used a similar analogy in a Sunday School lesson once but the Big rock was our spiritual walk with Christ and how if we don’t put it in the jar first (first part of the day or what have you), then somehow we “don’t have time”/ the rock doesn’t fit… Making the time for my walk with Christ is a definite priority.
I love your analogy though and feel I need to spend some time thinking about my Big rocks, medium rocks and gravel. This could really apply to any area of your life… GREAT post girl!!!
Can’t wait for the rest of the discussion this week. 
I’ve heard the jar analogy many times, and I think the big point I get out of it each time is to fill with your BIG ROCKS first because if you fill it up with sand and little rocks, you won’t have room for the important things.
Its difficult sometimes because everyone has an agenda and pushes you to commit, to help, to volunteer. Our church sermons lately have really focused on being part of the church in action, participating in a committee, and although I get it, its not my season to commit to a large role in our church. I have 3 kids and all the activities that come with them, full time work, a home to try to keep from looking like a landfill, and I do volunteer with some of the kids activities – one role that is more time consuming than I originally understood when I took it on. Its difficult when you have lots of voices pulling on you in terms of “pulling your weight” so I think the jar is something each of us has to consider before we raise our hands or open our mouths to commit. And once a decision is made to say no, don’t feel guilty. I am not feeling guilty about my decision not to step up at church or helping out in my youngest’s pre k class – its not the right season for it right now, plus I can take smaller roles and help here and there. But, as soon as some of my big rocks take less time (turn into medium rocks) I’ll re-evaluate and see if I can pick up another.
This was a great post – we so often react in a knee jerk reaction because of pressure – peer pressure isn’t just for jr high! But volunteering and then not being able to meet your own family’s needs isn’t a good balance either. I would also suggest setting limits or deadlines if a volunteer task is in your control – manage it so you aren’t at the task’s mercy. I’ve instituted some hard and fast deadlines for my volunteer role – its causing some pain for others since they used to have more leeway, but it prevents me from scrambling last minute and having to stay up late hours and being cranky with my own kids. If possible, contribute something you can purchase or do ahead of time – paper goods for a class party, prepping craft supplies for a Girl Scout project, etc – that way you can contribute but be able to prep on your own time, not last minute baking or cooking or dragging a toddler into a classroom when they should be napping. Everyone saying how “busy” they are is so commonplace – but are we busy in POSITIVE ways or just busy…food for thought!
S,
You took my entire post for tomorrow!! LOL!
Yes, yes and amen. Peer pressure is definitely alive and well and we risk being ‘unliked’ by not doing what others think we should be doing.
I’m ok with ‘no’ like I’ve never been before. Everything you give outside of the family/home takes away from them….another point of tomorrow’s post.
“Counting the Cost”, the whole cost, is something we’re not quick to do, until we’re drowning…..
Sounds like we think a lot alike, be sure to tune in the rest of the week. I love your input….
oops sorry!
OH, just kidding! Just read it anyway, ok?
Good Morning! I’ve never been here before, (came over for WFM Wednesday) but I will sure be following now.
So needed this post today! The sand and gravel have taken over right now (soccer turning out to be a little bit bigger few pebbles than I was planning on) but for a season (until November 13 to be exact) it’s ok. Thanks for this! I needed the visual.
Hey Michelle,
Welcome! Thanks for stopping by and for your comment, glad to hear the post helped you. We all struggle with over-commitment, it’s a journey, that’s for sure.
I’m so glad I hopped over from WFMW! This is a great post–and the whole concept of your blog is awesome! Thanks for sharing. I will be following!
blessings!
Melanie
Hey Melanie!
Well, thank you very much and thanks for reading! Great to hear from you and I love comments so chime in whenever!
Great post. I think the hardest thing is that something those pebbles turn out to be much bigger rocks than we anticipated….
Hello Free2B!
Yep, that’s why it’s ssooooo important to count the cost and ask good questions beforehand….and be willing to back out if it becomes too much to handle.
Thanks for chiming in!